Secret Santa
Brick Company
The Greatest Gift
Their Brick™ Journey begins here
Secret Santa is hard. We know. That's why we made the Secret Santa Brick Company.
Just tell us about the person who needs to receive the gift and our Artisan-Masons hand-select each Brick™ to be able to fit in with their life and go on the same journeys as they do.
Our Artisan-Masons go through a rigorous process of training, high on the rolling hills of the North Yorkshire Moors. Only after five years of seclusion can they see into the heart of each Brick™.
The Brick™ is no ordinary brick. Handcrafted with the finest clay from West Yorkshire, UK, your Brick™ has been specially prepared with five aeration holes, hand-selected by our Artisan-Masons, packaged by the world’s foremost experts in Brick™ safety and delivered to you by our trained couriers.
Brick™ Deluxe Edition
Our history
The texture of each brick is unique. The preparation of clay for bricks manufacturing is done in six steps. We need pure clay and as the top layer of soil may contain impurities, the clay in the top layer of soil about 200mm deep is thrown away. This is called unsoiling. After the removal of the top layer, the clay is dug out from the ground and spread on the ground. The clay is cleaned of stones, vegetable matter etc. If a large quantity of particulate matter is present, then the clay is washed and screened. The lumps of clay are converted into powder with earth crushing rollers. This clay is then re-hydrated and hand shaped into the classic brick shape you know and love.
The moulds are rectangular in shape and made of wood or steel which are opened at the top and bottom. The longer sides of moulds are projected out of the box to serve as handles.
The bricks are arranged in such a way that circulation of air in between the bricks is free. The period of drying may be 3 to 10 days. It also depends upon the weather conditions. The drying yards are also prepared on higher level than the normal ground for the protection of the bricks from rain water.
Finally, the bricks are fired in an oven and left once more to cool. Only 1 in 100,000 bricks are of a high enough quality to become one of our Deluxe Bricks™. The rest are used in construction projects all around the world.
Special thanks are in order for our incredible team of Conceptualists, Artistic Visionaries & Internet Artisans.
Legal Information
The Secret Santa Brick Company (SSBC) offers no guarantee of quality or enjoyment.
We accept no responsibility for literally any of your actions at all, however related to the Brick™ they may be.
This is entirely a joke present and we accept no responsibility for it. 99% of the contents of all of our materials are absolute bollocks and not to be taken seriously by any means.
Seriously this is a joke product.
Nothing is actually trademarked but it is intellectual property of the Secret Santa Brick Company, so we'd appreciate if you didn't steal our ideas and make money without giving us some.
Images are taken from Wikipedia under a creative commons license. Images not taken from Wikipedia are specifically credited if requested or required by the terms of the individual license.
CONTACT
If you have any questions, please contact the sales director at:
sales@secretsantabrickcompany.org.uk